Road Trippin'

So there you’ve sat for 6 long days. Body a quiver. Breath bated. Waiting to see if I survived the long and arduous road trip...of doom. Well let me put your mind at ease, still your body, let you take that next breath. I have. Obviously. Or I wouldn’t be writing this. Although I must say, it didn’t begin as well as it ended. We got the car (named Lily because all my cars must have flower names as of...now) on Thursday afternoon and after taking Lily for a few spins around the parking lot, I decided I was ready to drive to our pre-Easter dinner. Who would have thought that at the beginning of a long weekend there would be police road blocks leaving the city? Not me, that’s for sure. Due to the whole inability to drive stick thing, it was light out when we left but 5kms and about 30 minutes later it was dark out. The thing about driving in the light versus driving in the dark is that when you’re driving in the dark, it’s dark...so you need your lights on. Or so the lovely South African police that stopped us told me...after showing us how to turn the lights on (honestly though, who puts the lights on some tiny switch in between the steering wheel and car door). He then proceeded to give us a R300 ticket and notify me, the day before our 4 day road trip, that my driver’s license isn’t valid in South Africa because it only says Class 5 on it and I could be showing him my pilot’s license for all he knows. At this point I’m thinking why did I correct him when he spelled my name wrong and give him my real address. Honesty is overrated.

So now, I can’t legally drive without an international driver’s permit and OM just has a photocopy of her license. And the road trip begins...

Day 1

The trip starts off well enough. I drive in the morning when there’s less traffic. I almost ran into the curb while trying to part too fast in Coledon, but other than that it goes pretty well driving-wise. We stop in a cute little town called Swellendam for lunch and eat sandwiches by the road side. A little girl came and sat beside us while we ate, but didn’t say anything until we got up to leave and then mumbled something about 1 rand. It was really sweet and incredibly sad at the same time, so we gave her some of our food.

Our next stop was the wonderfully sandy beaches of Wilderness. It was one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve seen, so I had to jump in the water. The huge waves knocked me over and I ended up being covered in sand for the rest of the day. I think I was still finding sand in my hair and ears for the rest of the weekend. We had to go to the bathroom at this point, so we stopped by this expensive looking coffee shop and had to order something in order to use the bathroom as there was nothing else around. Best idea, it was the best coffee I’ve had in SA yet.

Finally we got to our evening’s destination, Knysna, and found our way to the cute little backpacker’s where we were to spend the night, where we ran into some forestry friends and people that helped me out with trivia one night...small country. We went to the waterfront area for dinner and when we got back OM realized that she had left her credit card at the bank. This resulted in a lot of driving around and trying to call Belgium to get the card cancelled. An eventful evening to an otherwise vacation-y day.

Day 2

We wake the next morning only to find out that the car parked beside ours was broken into in the middle of the night. All the cars had hand smears on them where someone had looked in to see if there was anything valuable enough to steal. Thankfully we had taken everything with us into the hostel, except some food that was hidden away in the trunk. The poor people had to smash away what remained of their window, but it didn’t seem like too much had been stolen.

After rechecking the bank again for the missing credit card we drove to Tsitsikamma National Park to go on a short hike. We did the 20min. walk to the suspension bridge, the first suspension bridge OM had ever been on and not much compared to Capilano. Then decided that this wasn’t enough hiking for us and decided to take the waterfall trail recommended to us by my boss’s son. This turned out to be less of a hike and more like boulder hopping (ie. more fantastic), but the waterfall was more like a trickle of water off a very big cliff than it was a waterfall and the plunge pool was unfortunately too cold to sleep in. And by sleep I mean swim...and sleep. On our way back we took a less than voluntary detour up a million and one steps and back down them again.

At this point of the road trip OM’s toe, which hurt when we started out, has become infected and is oozing pus, no thanks to our hike. I swear, she is the unluckiest person I have ever met. So we decide to stop in the next town, Humansdorp, to try and find a doctor or medical clinic. The first turn we take leads us to a privet hospital. Jackpot! But apparently there were no doctors there to look at her foot nor would the nurse give us disinfectant for it. So off we drive...next stop: Addo Elephant Park, our final destination. Easier said than done. We decide to skip going through Port Elizabeth due to rumours of it being sketchy and confusing and take a “shortcut” through Uitenhage. As is the case with most first attempts at shortcuts, we got lost and couldn’t find the turn off for Addo. We went to the information center, but it was closed due to it being 6pm on a Saturday. Next door there was a restaurant run by a potentially Scottish couple. They were incredible sweet and instead of just giving us directions or drawing us a map, the lady of said couple drove us to the road we were supposed to be on. Thus, reinstating any faith I had lost in people.

At this point it’s getting dark, but finally we arrive at the park, 20 minutes before the gates are closed for the night. Starving at this point, we go to the park restaurant for dinner. I had a kudu steak for dinner, which tastes kind of like deer or moose, but different in a way I can’t put my finger on. OM had ostrich, which I didn’t like as much due to the weird texture and the fact that it’s a bird whose meat looks like tenderized beef. The cottage we had rented was super cute and one of the ritziest places I’ve stayed in on my own.

Day 3

The idea was to wake up early to go into the park and see all the animals because animals are smarter than people and hide when it’s too sunny out. However, as with all plans, that didn’t pan out too well. Although we missed the lions that were at the watering hole in the morning, we saw lost of animals throughout the park, like elephants, warthogs, kudu (both a delicious and adorable animal), an eland, a leopard tortoise, many dung beetles, ostriches, blue cranes and redknobbed coots. We spent most of the time droving around the park dodging elephant poo and dung beetles (which are much larger than I ever anticipated). When we got back to the Main Camp there was a little boy with only one shoe on and he was cute.

Next we drove to a game ranch nearby the village of Addo where they raise lions and crocodiles. There we got the chance to play with baby lions. It was so adorable. They would kind of bat at you with their claws out and I’d just think to myself “Aww, but no. You’re still a lion”

When we arrived at Tsitsikamma for the night and were just getting ready to go to dinner, I heard a little girl outside talking about tadpoles she found. I ran outside to see the tadpoles too and the kids (the girl and a little boy) asked me if I wanted to go on an adventure to see their “secret place”. Seeing as I love adventures, I asked OM’s permission to have a later dinner and joined the little explorers. We went through a secret tunnel and then hung out catching frogs on the other side. Then we went up a cliff to see a waterfall and up an even steeper cliff to see where it leads to. At this point the little boy and I were worried that are respective parents and OM would yell at us for taking so long, so we finally convinced the little girl to leave and walked home. Walking home involved jumping between slippery creek rocks and when I jumped on a slanted one, I slowly slid into the water, futilely grasping at twigs on my way down. This resulted in me having to walk home with one leg of my pants soaked in creek water serenaded by the mocking laughter of my fellow explorers. When we finally got back, the girl’s mom seemed creeped out by me and gave me a dirty look. However, the little boy’s dad seemed a combination of amused by me and jealous that I got to see the secret place, but they wouldn’t tell him about it. Dinner was delicious though.

Day 4

Today’s plan was to drive to Knysna again and ride forest elephants through the, well, forest for two hours. What with it being Easter Monday or “Family Day” and all, the elephant ride place was closed. A pity, but at least we get home earlier than anticipated. We stopped in Knysna for coffee and to check on the whole credit card situation; to no avail. Then Swellendam again for lunch and drove pretty much the whole way home without incident. When we got to Sir Lowry Pass, there was the biggest traffic jam I have ever visibly been in. The entire mountain road was full of cars until you reached the bottom where it barely seemed to spread out before becoming another traffic jam. We proceeded to put the car in neutral and braked every two seconds on our way down the mountain. After a couple hours of this we left the highway and made it home safe and sound, with Lily all in one piece!

Story time is over.