Can we just take a moment to discuss what a horrible person I am?

I was originally planning on going to the formal ball with just OM. We got similarly themed dresses (I’m a woodland sprite and she’s a water sprite) and everything was lovely. Then I found someone to go with, so I felt obligated to find a date for OM, too, so it’s not all third wheel-y and awkward (and the tickets are cheaper, which is always a plus). So I went to dance class today with the intention of finding OM a date. I had danced with this one guy last class who I thought would be a suitable dance partner for my beloved OM. After class I went up to him, while they were making announcements about the formal and the following conversation ensued.

“Are you going to the formal?” say I.

“I’m not sure yet,” replies the poor boy I am about to brutally humiliate.

“You should go with my friend?”

“Why your friend?”

“Well, I already have a date.”

“Ok well give me your number, I’ll check my schedule and get back to you”

“Are you leaning towards yes or no?”

“Yes”

Now as I’m saying fantastic, one of the committee members I was talking to earlier calls me over saying he found a date for my friend. So I walk over to this guy, introduce myself and he says that he would love to go with my friend, he just wants to meet her first. See now, so far, this isn’t so bad, but this is the turning point at which I become a horrible person. I turn around and say to this poor soul…

“Sorry, you’re cut.”

Loudly…with a hand gesture…in front of his friends and what remained of our dance class.

Then, in an attempt to make it better I say “She’s a hot commodity, you should’ve snatched her up while you had the chance.” ‘Cause I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut. It was honestly an attempt to lighten the situation, but really? That’s all I could come up with.

They should just shoot people like me and put the world out of it’s misery.