I applied to a Masters program in January. It was a relatively spontaneous application, since the information session was around January 9th and the application itself was due at the end of the month. But it looked like a good opportunity: one year at a Canadian school and the second at a European school. Who am I to pass up the opportunity to do my two favourite things: travel and learn?
In my mind this application was a bit of a shot in the dark. This is the first year they've done this program and they only accept two people from each of the schools in Canada. After talking to the other people planning to apply at the information session, I put this idea into the "just a dream" category of my mind. After spending the last two months downplaying this idea as a fantasy that was just not meant to be, I heard back yesterday. I got accepted!
I'm insanely happy and proud about it, but now I just don't know what to do with myself. I made it so that I wouldn't be disappointed when I didn't get accepted to the program, and now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not mentally prepared to accept, but how could I not? It's such an amazing opportunity, but it completely throws off my plans for the future...however vague they were to begin with.
It's funny how our ideas of the future so greatly influence the decisions we have to make. How we fear to stray off course and explore the unknown. I remember when I was about 15, my friends and I made a life plan for ourselves. We decided how many kids we wanted to have and when we felt comfortable having our last kid (for medical and other reasons). Then we counted back from that age. How long did we want to be married before having kids? How long did we want to date our fiance before getting married. According to that plan, I should have already met my future fiance. I may have I suppose, but, as far as I know, that's not the case. And that's a good thing. I'm not ready to be married in the next couple years and I'm certainly not ready to be following a plan that links my life decisions so closely to someone else's life.
I've always been one to believe in fate. I think that things happen in your life when you are ready to handle them and when you are presented with an opportunity, you should jump at it. So, what nagging desire to follow an arbitrary life plan is making me hesitate before jumping at this opportunity?
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I wrote this philosophy I heard a while ago, then deleted it.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need my or anyone's advise. Soundboarding...maybe, but you are level headed enough to make the best decision for you.
I'm sure you will decide what is best for you. Good luck!
Well, congratulations:). I'm really happy for you. What program is it!?!
ReplyDeleteFinland's a pretty exotic place to visit. It's not a place that's a popular tourist destination, so it will probably be a place you would not visit otherwise. So there is that to be said in favour of going. And, of course, an year in Finland would mean an year of getting to see all of Europe. Having said that, the primary reason for going should be the usefulness of the program. Not that I need to tell you that.
Also, it's interesting that you drew up a plan like that at the age of 15. Rather coincidentally, my brother and I had done something similar when I was around 15 too. There is (or maybe was) a clothing company in India called Raymond which makes formal clothes (especially suits) for guys and their tagline was: Raymond - for the complete man. Which was a lie, but never mind that. Anyway, my brother and I had been intrigued by it and drawn up a list of what a complete-ish man should have on his resume - and had then decided to try and do all those things. Needless to say, results were mixed.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your advice, boys! I'm going to Finland and I'm excited about it, although I'm still not 100% sure it's the best decision for my future. These things happen for a reason and I am 100% sure that I'll learn a lot!
ReplyDeleteAlso, yogababy, do you still have that list kicking around? I'd be interested to see it if so :-)
This was before the age of the constant computer, but I have no doubt my brother and I could reconstruct it :).
ReplyDeleteAlso, my first reaction to your going to Finland was, "Aww, don't leave...". On reflection, however, Finland's only slightly more distant from Toronto than Vancouver, and it's not like the internet gives a crap anyway.